Ever since I got hit by a car, while biking, I have had the Aesop’s Fable, ” Tortoise and the Hare” as a back ground theme of my life. I see myself wishing to be like the tortoise, taking time in life to enjoy the journey not rush. What I actually do is similar to the Hare as it races to the end, gets cocky thinking it will win and takes a nap but then the tortoise passes by and wins instead.
I have all these grand ideas in my head for writing and other creative plans but then I don’t breath and enjoy the journey. Instead I stress and worry over how I have not accomplished the tasks yet or how I will suck at whatever task I want to succeed at and so I question whether to begin or not. But a moment ago I paused. I was resting on my couch stopped for a second to be with myself before heading to bed where my two little ones are waiting to cuddle up against me. I just focused on nothing. And the words… ever since I got hit by a car…. came rolling out.
I have been busy decluttering my house with the help of an awesome organizer, Maggie @ http://www.calmcooluncluttered.ca/ and reconnecting to my home. I have felt empowered. The first thing she asked me was what did I want to do with the room I was showing her as I gave her a tour of the house and the words just started flowing. I have all of these plans for the house on what I wanted to do but never felt like I had the time to do them by myself. And so I got to share with her all of my ideas. The very first day we moved my kitchen table into the living room, as that is where we always ate anyways. It made such a major difference as we don’t have a dining room and our kitchen and living room are separate by a L shape hallway. We tried to sit in the kitchen to eat but often times we left the room and the table was used as a storage space instead. Now we actually sit at the table as a family instead of on the couches.
I have spent less time on the computer and more time in my head. Dreaming again of words to write but not sitting down to write. One reason why I have been moody. So when I had the first words of this post come to me I knew this was the right moment to write them down.
Sometimes my muse will awaken within me at the strangest hours, like just before going to bed. Or early in the morning when everyone else is asleep. The timing that I get the impulse to write is odd but it is also important that I listen to it and write when I hear the words. If I don’t then it will just be another thing floating in my brain. My brain is too tired to think but yet that is when I get the most inspired to create! I am not sure why I had to share these thoughts. But maybe it was just to help me relax about writing again. This is one reason for why I started this site. So that I have a place to share my words. I am not sure if people read any of this as I am still new at building this site. One friend said it has the look of a hobbiest writer. But it is only because I am slow.
And so even though I feel like I am the rabbit, I know I am also the tortoise and I do enjoy the journey when I allow myself. My cat has come to say goodnight and my son has called out for me. Time for me to go.